Love Shouldn't Hurt

Why Stand Naked for Everyone?

Love Shouldn't Hurt
Why Stand Naked in Front of Everyone?

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If you’ve read my debut novel, Success Is The Best Revenge, you may have caught on the story, based on true events, is my story. It took four painful years to write. For some who are like me, it is easier to keep things like this buried deep inside and to create a life around the pain rather than face it head on.

So why, at age 70, did I dig up my skeletons and lay them all out, bone by bone, for anyone and everyone to read about? What did I have to prove? Did I want to tarnish the reputations of those responsible for my abuse? Did I want to alienate my family and friends who would not believe my story?

I was tired. Tired of hiding my pain. Tired of living a life that was fake. Scared to death someone would find out my secrets. The pain that no one would believe me was unbearable.

I’m not the only woman who was abused as a child and as an adult. Current Statistics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) show that:

  • On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.
  • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, etc.

Child Sexual Abuse Statistics (Center for Disease Control)

  • 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 13 boys experience sexual abuse in childhood
  • Females exposed to child sexual abuse are at 2-13 times increased risk of sexual victimization in adulthood
  • Individuals who experienced child sexual abuse are at twice the risk for non-sexual intimate partner violence

So, you see? It isn’t just me. The person suffering could very well be sitting next to you at the cubicle behind you or walking in front you as you stroll through town.

            My story is not special, or unique; there is a whole world of people that were and are dealing with the impacts of child sexual abuse and domestic violence — perhaps STILL dealing with the horror. My strongest wish and hope is someone, like me, will read my book and understand HOPE can be in their future. Having hope took me until I was 70, and a lifetime of internal pain, to realize I was worth having hope.


I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please respond in the comment section below.

Live, Write, Play

Howdy! I’m glad you are here!

While some may experience this as a blog, well, I’m not so sure what a blog is! Seriously – so many bloggers talk about so many things. So this place is my place to write about stuff going on in my life, whether it’s just plain ol’ life, or writing or my favorite, playing! I would love to have a conversation with you so please leave a comment at the bottom of the page.

Together, let’s Live, Write, and Play to the max!

Book Review: The Exit Strategy

The Exit Strategy by Lainey Cameron

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I’m an avid audiobook “reader” rather than having book in hand for several reasons: I can do hou

sework, laundry, go for a walk and a million other things while I am being read to. So, I listened to the audiobook of this release and was very pleased with the narrator. She did an excellent job of pacing and using her voice to not get in the way of the words or the story.

Two women, one empowered but blind to the goings on around her business in Silicon Valley and personal life, the other shy, but with a passionate project she wants to push forward, come together as enemies. Enemies evolved into a a deep friendship. They come together to fight against Todd, a manipulating con-man, whose behavior is not unlike the challenges of the good ol’ boys club in Silicon Valley.

Cameron does an excellent job of digging deep into the characters and exposing the paradigm that women are seen as less in the corporate world and exploited, no matter how empowered they become. She highlights that this behavior is so subtle, it is seen as a normal way of treating colleagues and employees.

It doesn’t matter if you work as a waitress or as a CEO of an influential company, women, and men too, become victims of a certain line of belief put together with behaviors that hold them back. Cameron reminds us that this is totally unacceptable and must change.

How Could You Write It?

In 2013, I sat down to write my story. I had no idea whether I would publish or not,  it was more important for me to put the words on paper to release the demons that he left behind. I started it as a memoir, but the words that fell onto the paper went against every writing class I ever had. It was dry, it was boring, it was just words. What I wanted to write was my story in a way that, while heartbreaking, would leave the reader hopeful. I wanted the words to convey the emotions that others like me felt, and that they were not alone. And I wanted to end the story with hope, for me, to realize I did have hope, and for others to gain courage and hope in their situation.

So, a muse named Sara came along, and once I gave what happened to me to Sara, she took the story and ran with it. The pain of writing did not provide a deep cut to my soul, and I remembered incidents that I had pushed out of my mind. Sara helped me purge the pain, the heartbreak, the helplessness, the hopelessness and replaced them with hope, confidence, and joy. Four years later I finished the story, and knew I had to publish it, and I knew I had to continue the story in the sequel, which I am working on now. I hope to release it early 2022.

Whether you are a victim, or a survivor, I hope you get the opportunity to read Success Is The Best Revenge. Please leave a comment, tell me your story, or tell me your thoughts below.

Finally My Novel Had a Birthday!

After a lifetime of planning, plotting, and letting life get in my way,  four years ago I was able to sit down and write this story. I had intended to write it as a memoir, but the pain revisiting the events was too great – it ended up being an outline of what had happened instead of inviting the reader to engage with the story. After a lot of craft workshops, and breaking the bank buying and reading craft books, I still couldn’t let go of the stiffness of my writing.

And then Sara appeared and became my Muse. She agreed to be the protagonist in the story, if I would just write it. So, write it I did, with her guiding my fingers on the keyboard.

At first I was afraid to write my story, but I did anyway.

And then I was afraid to publish it, but I did anyway.

And then I was afraid to look at the reviews by readers, but I did anyway.

I’m not afraid anymore.

It feels almost surreal to read the reviews – are they really talking about my book?

A friend recommended this book, and I’m glad she did. As someone who worked as a volunteer on a crisis line, it’s good to see a book address not only the problem, but follow someone as she moves on to a solution–and asks all the why questions later. Because of the title I read through the disturbing chapters with hope that the author would eventually untangle legal and financial issues and start her path to her new life. This is a raw story, but so well told.

I couldn’t put this book down! Kathy Sechrist is a talented author who writes in a way that envelopes you in the story. I so admire the courage and vulnerability it took to share those heartbreaking but inspiring story of Sara. The ending left me on such a high note, I wish the story could’ve continued a bit longer. It’s a great book. Well done, Kathy!

To satisfy the wish of the last reviewer, I am now working on the sequel, North of Normal.

You can purchase the book at all the major booksellers, but if you would like a personalized, signed copy please order here:

Please leave a comment below – would love to know your thoughts!